There are a few things you can do while pregnant that will make your life a lot easier when the baby arrives.

 

Going Home, Baby and Mother Checkups: So you've survived the birth and have brought the little one across the threshold for the very first time to see his/her new home. Now what? In case you're a little confused about what to do about the baby's/your crying/vomiting/sleep problems, there are tons of books, pamphlets and websites to help guide you through the first year, with advice, tips and warnings. And I won't replicate them here. This page is for NW3-specific resources.

 

A word about what happens after you get home with the baby. A mid-wife will come to see you in the days after you are discharged from hospital to make sure you're ok and to check the baby's weight and give an injection. A health visitor will also check in to make sure all is well. If you've fallen through the cracks in the NHS system, make sure they know you exist. You will also receive in the mail details of your baby's hearing test. Don't wait too long (i.e. more than 6 weeks) to respond if you haven't received it or can't make the appointment because as the baby gets more active, the accuracy of the test is diminished and you will have to see a specialist. I speak from experience. 

 

There will be special times of the week when your GP runs a baby clinic; besides checking baby's weight and height, health visitors will also help you with any problems you or the baby might have and give advice on breastfeeding and colic.  

 

A word about colic. The New Yorker (Sept. 17, Crybabies) wrote an excellent piece on this topic and I urge anyone who has a baby afflicted with this wretched condition to have a read. It offers no particular advice on what it is or, more importantly, how to cure it but it will make you feel a little less like a loser. The only practical advice is don't hide yourself away because you'll just get depressed. Which brings me to the next point...

 

Meeting Other Mothers/Carers: The first three months are difficult for every new parent. Even if you've been blessed with a good eater and/or a good sleeper, you will still be sleep-deprived and cranky. And if you had any kind of life before the baby was born, you will probably be a little bored and lonely, especially when husband/partner goes back to work and mother/helper goes home. And most women do get the blues. It's amazing how even a five minute conversation with an adult will cheer you up. .

 

 

What you need is some local baby friends with whom you can meet up on a regular basis to discuss things like the colour of your infant's poo and how much vomiting is too much vomiting. Your "real life" friends will not be of much help at this stage. Even those with older kids will not remember/care about the newborn phase and quickly tire of hearing about the contents of your child's nappy.

 

The good news is that mothers with babies of the exact same age will likely get along and support each other, even if they have absolutely nothing else in common. In the first few months, they will keep you sane.

 

And please don't think anyone is judging you for your decisions on breastfeeding or bottle, co-sleeping or not, going back to work/staying at home or thousands of other decision you make for your family. Despite what you read in the press, other parents are extremely supportive and will prove to best source of information as well as practical help.

 

Ante-natal classes, either private or through your chosen hospital, surestart centre are a great way to find future baby friends.  Apart from offering information/coping strategies about the actual birth, the classes give you the opportunity to meet at least a half-dozen women who will have babies at the same time. Don't be shy. Get their telephone numbers.

 

If you're reading this after you have given birth, or you didn't really get along with your ante-natal class colleagues, fear not! Breastfeeding courses, yoga classes, baby massage classes, buggy exercise classes (see "A to Z" guide, "Term-time Day Planner" and "Courses in NW3") are also good places to turn to. If classes aren't your thing, playgroups and libraries are also where mothers of newborns and infants hang out, though they may have an older child in tow. If you're paranoid of germs or have a particularly vulnerable baby, beware. Toddlers are notorious germ-bags and while your infant will likely not leave your lap, s/he will be exposed to some airborn nasties. 

 

If the weather is nice, stop by Antrim Gardens (see "Parks and Playgrounds"), where the really little ones hang out. While most of the newborns/infants will likely be the younger sibling of a child who is actually playing, you will still meets lots of mothers who are usually happy to chat. Even if it's only to pity you, everyone will likely want to peek at the baby and give you advice.

 

Some cafes are better than others with a newborn. For some reason, both my children loved sitting in the Starbucks on England's Lane and South End Green. Lots of space for pushers, traffic for the baby to watch outside, noise and other children running around make it a fairly easy place to sit with a baby. I think the staff are now immune to the screaming.

 

If you can afford it, a gym with childcare is also a good way to meet other mothers and get a break at the same time. Springhealth Leisure (see A to Z) has a fabulous creche, which kicks in when baby is six weeks old! For two hours, you get to work out, or if you're like me, take a shower/hot tub and sit in the cafe reading a newspaper while baby is very well taken care of. Both my children loved it.

 

Six Months and Beyond:

 

We are very lucky indeed in NW3. For things to do with under-5s, I cannot think of any other place in London that offers so much to do and for so little money! Many of the activities are free or pay-as-you-go! Refer to the A-Z for addresses and information and the "Term-Time Day Planner" and "Courses in NW3" for ideas about what to do.