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Classes around NW3: Birth to 5
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Expecting/New Mothers
Doctors, Dentists, Chiropracters: the Medical Page
SUMMER 2010
Advice from Local Experts
Previous articles by Local Experts
WHAT THE BABY BOOKS DON'T TELL YOU

Expecting/New Mothers

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While Your Belly is Still Big:

There are a few things you can do while pregnant that will make your life a lot easier when the baby arrives.
  • Tufnell Park Parents Support Group (www.tppsg.org) Has a large FREE maternity clothes bank. Bored with your wardrobe? Borrow and bring back clothes.
  • About five months before you give birth, start calling around for an ante-natal class. They book up very fast and you don't want to be trecking all over London when you're eight months pregnant. Even if you've read every book on giving birth and know what you want and how to manage the pain (ha!), it's still helpful to know EXACTLY what is going to happen to you -- complete with props and sound effects. And your partner's eyes will widen when s/he sees what a 10 centimeter-dilated (model) cervix looks like. But the most important reason to go to an ante-natal class is for the "baby friends" you are likely to make (see discussion below.) FYI, pre-natal classes offered by hospitals not in this neighbourhood will likely be attended by mothers from all over London and you'll probably not stay in touch after the birth. So my advice is to keep it local (see "ante-natal classes" in the A to Z section.)
  • A word about strollers/pushers/prams. This is NW3. There are hills everywhere. You may want the option of public transport at some point. Lots of cafes/stores will hate you if you bring in some huge lumbering 4x4 of a pusher. And if you buy the £1 million-model, I can almost guarantee you will not be using it in three months when you actually want to get somewhere. mumsnet.co.uk and www.which.co.uk do helpful reviews on single and double pushchairs.
  • Apart from all the other things the birthing books have told you about what to bring to hospital, if you're giving birth at an NHS hospital, make sure you have some sort of ipod to distract you from the other three mothers who will share your room. The NHS is free but "The Ritz" it is not. For those of you who have recently given birth in a local hospital, feel free to email me with your top tips.
  • If you're new to this country, register with your local GP even if you are going private for the birth and have never personally visited an NHS doctor. You don't need the hassle of trooping around London when your child has a fever, earache etc... and despite what you read in the press, the care is very good. Hampstead Group Practice of Fleet Rd. has a baby clinic every Thursday from 1:30-3:30 for weigh-ins, check ups and jabs.
  • Lots of nesting mums go mad cooking and freezing food in the last days before giving birth thinking they can save time later. Be aware that some newborn babies do not like onions, garlic, beans, tomatoes or gassy veg in the breast milk.  
  • And finally ... you won't believe me but it's true. If you are hell bent on private education, you might want to think about where you want your fetus to go to school! Most close their waiting list when baby is one and many do it much earlier so do it while you have the time and are still sane.



Childbirth Education and Breastfeeding Support Ruth Tamir, a National Childbirth Trust Childbirth Educator and IBCLC Lactation Consultant,  runs regular antenatal classes and labour workshops from her home on Lawn Road. Breastfeeding support in your own home is also available. Email ruth.tamir@virgin.net www.birthandbeyondbirth.com

The first six months:

Going Home, Baby and Mother Checkups: So you've survived the birth and have brought the little one across the threshold for the very first time to see his/her new home. Now what? In case you're a little confused about what to do about the baby's/your crying/vomiting/sleep problems, there are tons of books, pamphlets and websites to help guide you through the first year, with advice, tips and warnings. Have a peek at WHAT THE BABY BOOKS DONT TELL YOU on this website for our two pennies' worth. Of particular interest is our section on breastfeeding, sleeping, colic and gear.

In the days after you get home from hospital, a mid-wife will come to see you to make sure you're ok and to check the baby's weight and give an injection. A health visitor will also check in to make sure all is well. If you've fallen through the cracks in the NHS system, make sure they know you exist. You will also receive in the mail details of your baby's hearing test. Don't wait too long to respond if you haven't received it or can't make the appointment because as the baby gets more active, the accuracy of the test is diminished and you will have to see a specialist. I speak from experience. 
There will be special times of the week when your GP runs a baby clinic; besides checking baby's weight and height, health visitors will also help you with any problems you or the baby might have and give advice on breastfeeding and colic.   
A word about colic. The New Yorker (Sept. 17, Crybabies) wrote an excellent piece on this topic and I urge anyone who has a baby afflicted with this wretched condition to have a read. It offers no particular advice on what it is or, more importantly, how to cure it but it will make you feel a little less like a loser. The only practical advice is don't hide yourself away because you'll just get depressed. Which brings me to the next point...
Meeting Other Mothers/Carers: The first three months are difficult for every new parent. Even if you've been blessed with a good eater and/or a good sleeper, you will still be sleep-deprived and cranky. And if you had any kind of life before the baby was born, you will probably be a little depressed, bored and lonely, especially when husband/partner goes back to work and mother/helper goes home. And most women do get the blues. I can't think of anyone who at some point didn't say "this totally sucks." It's amazing how even a five minute conversation with an adult will cheer you up. .
---- But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. (Max Ehrmann) ----
What you need is some local baby friends with whom you can meet up on a regular basis to discuss things like the colour of your infant's poo and how much vomiting is too much vomiting. Your "real life" friends will not be of much help at this stage. Even those with older kids will not remember/care about the newborn phase and quickly tire of hearing about the contents of your child's nappy.
The good news is that mothers with babies of the exact same age will likely get along and support each other, even if they have absolutely nothing else in common. In the first few months, they will keep you sane.


And please don't think anyone is judging you for your decisions on breastfeeding or bottle, co-sleeping or not, going back to work/staying at home or thousands of other decision you make for your family. Despite what you read in the press, other parents are extremely supportive and will prove to best source of information as well as practical help.
Ante-natal classes, either private or through your chosen hospital, surestart centre are a great way to find future baby friends.  Apart from offering information/coping strategies about the actual birth, the classes give you the opportunity to meet at least a half-dozen women who will have babies at the same time. Don't be shy. Get their telephone numbers.
If you're reading this after you have given birth, or you didn't really get along with your ante-natal class colleagues, fear not! Breastfeeding courses, yoga classes, baby massage classes, buggy exercise classes (see "A to Z" guide, "Term-time Day Planner" and "Courses in NW3") are also good places to turn to. If classes aren't your thing, playgroups and libraries are also where mothers of newborns and infants hang out, though they may have an older child in tow. If you're paranoid of germs or have a particularly vulnerable baby, beware. Toddlers are notorious germ-bags and while your infant will likely not leave your lap, s/he will be exposed to some airborn nasties. 
If the weather is nice, stop by Antrim Gardens (see "Parks and Playgrounds"), where the really little ones hang out. While most of the newborns/infants will likely be the younger sibling of a child who is actually playing, you will still meets lots of mothers who are usually happy to chat. Even if it's only to pity you, everyone will likely want to peek at the baby and give you advice.
Some cafes are better than others with a newborn. For some reason, both my children loved sitting in the Starbucks on England's Lane and South End Green. Lots of space for pushers, traffic for the baby to watch outside, noise and other children running around make it a fairly easy place to sit with a baby. I think the staff are now immune to the screaming.
If you can afford it, a gym with childcare is also a good way to meet other mothers and get a break at the same time. Springhealth Leisure (see A to Z) has a fabulous creche, which kicks in when baby is six weeks old! For two hours, you get to work out, or if you're like me, take a shower/hot tub and sit in the cafe reading a newspaper while baby is very well taken care of. Both my children loved it.
Lastly, you can always take your newborn or baby to movies. The Everyman Cinema runs Scream! Screenings for parents with babies up to 12 months, (see "A to Z"  under Cinema or "term-time Day Planner."

Six Months and Beyond:
We are very lucky indeed in NW3. For things to do with under-5s, I cannot think of any other place in London that offers so much to do and for so little money! Many of the activities are free or pay-as-you-go! Refer to the A-Z for addresses and information and the "Term-Time Day Planner" and "Courses in NW3" for ideas about what to do.
  • Antrim Gardens: This lovely little park attracts lots of mothers and carers of very young children.
  • Playgroups: All are suitable for babies but it's noteworthy that there's a special corner for non-walkers at the One O'clock Club. Belsize Bunnies unfortunately, is no longer running. 
  • Caroline's, Neal's Singalong: Even the really little ones like coming here and at the very least, you will learn the words to the songs you will have been humming for the last few months.
  • Mother-baby morning session at Talacre: (see "gymnastics") It can be a bit of a hike but it's worth it, especially when it's raining and your baby is dying to crawl around. I wouldn't bother with Treetops until they can walk steadily. Don't even think about the afternoon session when the crazy crowd gets out of school.
  • The Swiss Cottage Centre also has playtime sessions.
  • Swimming:  The pool at the Swiss Cottage Leisure Centre is warm enough to take a baby.
  • Swiss Cottage Library, Belsize Library: Lots of toys, lots of other children -- good for a rainy afternoon! Certain mornings have rhyme-time singalongs and stories. 
   


New Mums, or Mums-to-be

Hello, I am undertaking training at the Tavistock Institute, and am looking for a willing mum to let me observe the development of the first year of your baby's life.  It would involve just one hours observation per week, at a time to suit you, and the 'diary' would be available for you to keep as a record of the very precious first year.  I have references and CRB checks, am a mother myself with two teenage daughters, and live locally. Please contact me if you think you might be interested. My mobile number is 07891858277 or email me at juliehumphries@blueyonder.co.uk




Mothercare PLEASE HELP NW3KIDS BY DOING YOUR INTERNET SHOPPING THROUGH OUR WEBSITE. JUST CLICK   


Things I wish I had known or had been better informed about before the baby was born: The first few months

1) Breastfeeding has to be learnt! In the very beginning, there is nothing natural or simple about nursing a baby. Rather counter-intuitively, the baby is surprisingly crap at knowing how to do it and he or she must be taught! The good news is that there are plenty of people (private and NHS) who can help you if you want to breast feed and it's really best you don't leave hospital until you are completely comfortable with the whole business. Just mention it to the midwife and you will soon have an entire SWAT team of people ready and willing to help you.

A few tips and warnings:
---- Take care of your breasts. Bring nipple ointment to hospital and apply often in very small amounts. In the first 72 hours of birth, all my babies fed almost continuously. Even professional strippers' breasts won't have seen that much action. Cold cabbage leaves really do bring down the swelling. Stuff them in your bra and replace often.
---- That excruciating stabbing, burning pain you feel during the "let down" period (when the milk starts coming out of the breast) is normal and will go away after a few days or weeks. It should only last about 10 to 15 seconds per session. If you feel pain after this period, you are doing something wrong so get help.
---- If breastfeeding is making you miserable then STOP. A happy mother is way better for the baby than breast milk. Having said this, you really should give it a good go. Nursing is cheap, very easy once you get the hang of it (and if there aren't problems) and you really will loose the weight much faster.
2) Crying babies are really hard work and can be very depressing. I've had 3 children: one who cried continuously for 8 weeks, one who cried a lot for a whole year and one who didn't cry. Ever. Do not feel like a failure if you have the former -- it's the luck of the draw. Most expecting mothers have a firm picture of motherhood and are very disappointed when reality doesn't totally match the fantasy. And if baby number is fussy and there is also a toddler to take care of, you are in for some difficult times. Take care of yourself.
If your baby cries a lot and you can afford it, why not try some alternative medicine like chiropractic or homoeopathic treatments. At the very least, it will make you feel like you are doing something. I coped with my first child's crying by plugging into my sound system and walking through Primrose Hill and Regent's Park. I did a two hour circle, once or twice a day, rain or shine. It kept me from going completely nuts and I got back into my regular clothes really quickly. Getting into the bath with baby can also soothe.
Sleep deprivation can make you do really stupid things. My sister decided it was safer to bathe her baby on her bed than in her bathroom. Every night for 3 months, she put down a bunch of towels on her bed, filled the baby bath tub and lugged it all the way to her bedroom. The first night she got a good sleep she saw the ridiculousness of this little ritual and stopped. Especially after the birth of a second child (when catching up on sleep is no longer possible) be aware that you are not operating at your most rational. I found breast feeding on demand turned me into a wild-eyed lunatic. 
Take help when it is offered. Many women, especially those in their 30s who are used to working and managing their own affairs, feel they have to be absolutely perfect at mothering. And they definitely don't need help. Even when they really, really do. The rational plan is try and get some assistance or at the very least, accept it when it is offered. I am still kicking myself for not taking up my mother-in-law's kind offer of sleeping with my really screamy second baby, even though I was quite ill and totally exhausted. Your baby will cope just fine without you for a few hours. Really.